Skans Drabbles
by POMandMLPlover
Summary: Some cute and fun drabbles all about Skans SkipperxHans, contains sexual themes and more, mostly humanized


**A/N: Some Skans drabbles I made~ can change randomly but here it's mostly about a female Hans~~ hope you like~~**

* * *

 **Turned:**

"WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!" A loud Danish accented voice yelled through the weapons lab, four pair of blue eyes staring at the yelling Dane.

"I didn't do anything! It's your own fault!" The leader of the four men in black and white snarled back, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Didn't do anything?! You freaking threw me into that table with these dangerous chemicals!"

"Well you provoked me!"

"Yet you don't simply throw a person on a table with glass on it and DANGEROUS , untested chemicals!"

"Gosh! You're fine so what's the problem?!" The two kept fighting, the three other men only watching it quietly though Rico was quite amused by this, Private was worried and Kowalski had even gotten himself a drink as he observed this quietly, being used to this scenario already.

"Fine? You call this FINE?!" Hans growled and took the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, revealing something that usually isn't there. "I'M A FREAKING WOMAN!" She shrieked in her now high voice, her long hair falling over her shoulders as she showed Skipper and also the guys her bare, with big breasts accompanied chest.

At this Skipper quickly dashed to his youngest men and covered his eyes flustered, turning a beet red himself yet he scowled, Rico's grin only growing wider and he stared curiously and Kowalski spit out his drink as he saw their enemy's boobs.

"HANS! NOT IN FRONT OF PRIVATE!"

 **I'm not going anywhere:**

"Okay, there is a chance that I'll find out what kind of chemicals were mixed so you turned like... this... though it probably will take quite some time." Kowalski spoke matter of factly as he looked at a glaring female version of Hans, feeling the daggers she was silently piercing him with in her mind.

"Good. Then I'll stay here till you're able to turn me back~" The Danish woman spoke with a devilish sweet voice, crossing her hands and legs simply as she sat on a stool, looking away still mad.

"W-what? But these might take weeks or MONTHS to hopefully find the right cure!.." The analyst stammered and looked for back up to his leader.

"There's NO way you're going to stay here you Danish scum! You'll give Kowalski what he needs now and then you'll leave and we'll call you again if we got the cure!" The flatheaded man growled, also still mad at the Dane.

"I'm not going anywhere! Who knows if you'll even continue once I'm out?! You probably would let me stay a woman forever! So me leaving is no option! I won't move a foot out of this place!" Hans shot back determined and another fight between the two started again, Kowalski only sighing quietly and sat down, waiting for it to be hopefully over soon.

 **Sample:**

"Well who would've thought you'd win this? Though you only began to cry..." The scientist mumbled quietly as the woman still sat there on her stool, looking around the lab as the two were alone now, Skipper having stormed off angrily.

"Crying strangely always works on Skippsy with me~ Anyway! Why am I still here? Do you still need something brain guy?" Hans asked.

"Yes, your _'brain guy'_ still needs some samples of the chemicals you came in contact with and also from your blood and DNA to see some more of your inner changes." The analyst said as he scribbled some things down on his pad, turning to the woman. "Undress please."

"What?" The woman said confused.

"I need you to take your clothes off." Kowalski repeated, not thinking how this sounded.

Hans eyes then widened and she hastily got up and slowly went to the door, the scientist perking a brow at that. "Where are you going? I'm not done with you yet."

"Oh my god Kowalski is a pervert!" The Danish woman yelled and quickly dashed out of the lab, the other three men that were outside then looking into the lab at the analyst with questioning and criticizing looks, Kowalski only standing there with a red face and tried getting out words to explain.

 **Share:**

"So your _'oh mighty highness'_ , where do you want to stay? You know we only got four bed rooms that means you got to share with someone." Skipper said in a sarcastic tone, Hans following behind him.

"Well~ What do you recommend Skippsy?~" She replied teasingly, looking curiously around the place she was always denied to enter.

"If it would be after me you'd be tied up and be sent back to Hoboken right away but you'll probably only start crying again and would soon return anyway." The leader snarled as they walked down the corridor. "I don't think it's a good idea to let you stay with Kowalski in a room, you'll probably only just annoy him which will lead to him be slower with getting the cure done... And no way I'll let you destroy Private's innocence!.. So I guess this will leave you with Rico then."

"What? No way! Have you seen how that guy has been eyeing me since I've turned female?! Barf guy will probably rape me in my sleep!" The Danish women replied with wide eyes, pulling on Skipper's arm to make him face him but the leader only smirked smugly at this.

"I can live with that~" He teased which earned him a shove from the Dane but she soon then began to grin too, making Skipper's smile vanish slowly.

"Well if it's like this then I think I have no choice but stay with you~" Hans purred and inched a bit closer to the man, making him blush slightly and his eyes dilate.

"What? No way! I've seen how you've been eyeing me ever since I know you! You'll probably rape me in my sleep!" Skipper repeated the same thing as Hans said before which made her only grin wider and grab the leader's tie, pulling him closer with it.

"Oh~ I can live with that~~"

 **Morning:**

Skipper yawned as he lazily dragged himself into the kitchen and to his beloved coffee machine, only wearing his boxers at the moment as he didn't function without his brown brew. He turned the machine on and got the milled coffee beans out of one of the shelves, putting it into the filter in the machine and also some fresh water. Then he got himself a cup, a spoon and some sugar and waited for his coffee to be done.

Just as the leader then was about to pour some of his coffee into his cup he felt two arms suddenly wrap around him and a body press against him, making him tense up at first though he relaxed soon as that familiar beguiling cherry scent came to his nostrils.

"Hans." Skipper said in a warning tone, not really ready yet to put up with the Dane's teasing.

"Hm?~" The woman hummed in an innocent tone, resting her cheek on the leader's shoulder blade, her hands roaming slowly over the man's chest and stomach to feel the muscles.

Skipper only snarled slightly and poured the coffee into his favorite cup before he replied in a cold tone. "Stop that. It's annoying! At least give me some peace and quiet in the morning."

Hans frowned and let out a disappointed sigh but let go and turned to walk back towards the bedroom, Skipper having started to drink his brown energy brew and slightly turned too to watch after the Dane but then immediately started coughing on his drink and his eyes went wide.

"*cough**cough* THE HELL HANS!? *cough* FREAKING PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!" He yelled with a red face as he saw his female enemy in only panties walking around, nothing else. The Danish woman then stopped and looked back to her frienemy with a confused look, though she had to hold back her laughter and grin desperately.

"What? Whyyyy?~ You're only in your boxers too after all!~" She whined playfully, pointing out that it should be no problem there.

"But I, unlike you at the moment , am a GUY! So it's no big deal!" Skipper shot back which Hans only returned with a shrug and an eye roll, a smirk creeping on her features.

"Hehe~ Meh, whatever~ I don't see where the problem is here! Boobs should be allowed to be free~~" She teased before she skipped back to bed, leaving a flabbergasted Skipper behind.

 **Penguin and Puffin:**

"Say Skipper?" Hans spoke up after a long time of silence, playing with Skipper's hair out of boredom.

"Hn?" The leader made a little sound to acknowledge that he was listening even though his gaze was fixed on his newspaper in his hands, his eye slightly twitching now and then and his cheeks having a little red tint to them as the woman beside him kept to play with his hair.

"Why do you sometimes call me a puffin?" She asked curious and watched as Skipper closed his newspaper and brought his gaze on her, letting out a sigh after some time.

"Because of your horrible make up." He stated simply.

 **Too cold**

Skipper was snuggled comfily in his bed after a long tiring day, his covers pulled up nicely over his body and sleep close to take over.

But then he felt his covers lift a bit.

"Hans..." The Commando growled in a tired but warning tone, the cover stopping from getting further lifted.

"Y-yes?"

"Stay on your side. I told you that from beginning."

"But I'm cold~" Hans whined, trying to lift the cover further once more but Skipper only turned to the woman with a glare.

"You got your blanket don't you?" The man asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Well... yeah but- Gah! You don't get it!.." The woman exclaimed and looked down with a scowl.

Skipper frowned at that as usually Hans would tease and say something stupid but this seemed more serious so he took a closer look on her, seeing in the dark that she was slightly shaking. "Explain it to me then.."

Hans looked up with slightly widened eyes and began to blush from the intense and concerned gaze she was greeted with. "U-uhm... E-ever since I turned into a woman my body is very bad to adjust to temperatures and sometimes I feel like totally freezing... that's why I want to snuggle up to you for warmth..." She explained with an embarrassed look and soon after broke the eye contact with the Commando again.

The leader kept staring at his enemy for a long time before he sighed and lifted up his covers. "Come here."

The woman looked at Skipper with big eyes once more before she happily smiled and snuggled up to her frienemy, wrapping her limbs around him and taking in his nice scent. Hans got very comfy and warmed up right away, letting out a contend sigh and closed her eyes as she slowly started to drift off into sleep.

Skipper only let out a huff as he got tackled like this and waited till Hans had settled before he gently wrapped an arm around her, watching her peaceful happy face for a while, blushing slightly from their closeness. He then without thinking pressed a chaste kiss against her forehead which earned him a bigger cute smile from the woman and made his own cheeks heat up before he too closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep though with that sexy woman pressed up against him and that nice scent taking over all his senses it was quite hard.

 _tbc~_


End file.
